What does it mean to “deserve” rest? Against what yardstick do we use to measure the hard work we put in? Money? Satisfaction? Or is it purely in the blood, sweat, and tears shed in labor? At what point do you tell a tired old man, brow-beaten in his work, that he deserves rest? Until what point do you tell an overzealous teenager to get back to work because his hands haven’t cracked from the weight of his work?
These were the ruminations that the Reversed Nine of Pentacles brought me to this morning. In its upright position, I would have laughed it off as a fluke or mockery. After all, I don’t think I’ve done anything lately that was worth celebrating. I scarcely think I deserved any sort of reward, nor any luxury unaccompanied by pangs of guilt. Perhaps, if I had done more or sacrificed more. If I worked harder, I would have deserved it. So that spiral began: I could be richer, smarter, or prettier.
But she came to me in Reverse, and I knew what her message was. That all that self-pity and self-berating were nothing more than self-torture. Self-torture – the very antithesis of what she stood for.
The Nine of Pentacles is the depiction of luxury and success: A woman taking a stroll through her vineyard in her glamour, surrounded by nine gold coins. A bird is perched on her finger, suggesting that her success has brought her peace and control over her environment. As is the nature of her numerology, her journey is not necessarily over yet – but she rejoices and indulges in life’s joys anyway.
In its reversed form, things are less pretty. It is typically a sign of financial instability, reckless spending, hustling, and working too hard. Interestingly enough, it is also a card that champions the importance of self-worth, even in failure. There is honor in surviving a task, even if it means narrowly missing victory. The card serves as a reminder to be even kinder to yourself in failure, rather than in success. The universe knows you need comfort more when you are down.
Even if material rewards may be out of your means, that does not mean you must subject yourself to a life of eternal penitence. Allow yourself a little treat for getting through the day’s challenges. Remind yourself that you don’t have to be a billionaire to deserve even life’s simplest joys. A little peace, a little rest – they are rights more than rewards. You deserve them because you are human, not just because your hands are bleeding from your work.
The Reversed Nine of Pentacles is not a card of beratement or despair over my shortcomings, but a reminder of my self-worth. A reminder that, even in my lowest points, all that I am and all that I have given are enough reason to deserve a little respite from life’s chaos.
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