As promised, I’ve been doing a lot of cleaning up here lately. In my last update, I went on about all the plans I had for this place. With a little elbow grease and a few weeks hyperfixating on tropical astrology and obscure tarot lore, I’m proud to say…not bad!
And while I feel pretty good about myself, it does feel like I’m somehow running out of time every time I get something done. So when I pulled the Ten of Wands today, I knew that this was a message I needed to hear.
What the Ten of Wands Says
Ah, the number ten. A card of congratulations in some suits, less so in others. In the fiery suit of Wands, the Ten of Wands call it an even toss. It’s a “Well Done, You Did It” from the universe – and at the same time, a reality check.
That you’ve done so much, too much, sometimes, that you’ve forgotten to rest. You’ve achieved so much, but you’ve forgotten to celebrate, to rest on those laurels you fought tooth and nail to collect.
That when your own body fails, it’s the universe’s way of saying “Hey, you should probably take five before you break something…”
Doing Everything
I’ve been at this for a little over a month now, and I understand how blogging can easily become someone’s full-time job. And I don’t mean easy as in, it’s not hard. I mean easy in the sense that, it quickly eats up SO MUCH of your time.
In reality, I know for a fact that blog upkeep actually entails multiple full-time jobs – what, with plotting calendars, drafting and editing blog posts, making graphics, marketing on socials. Literally half of my college curriculum was learning how to do all that.
It’s so goddamn tiring – and yet I can’t seem to stop! It’s exhausting, yes but strangely exciting and even exhilarating sometimes to have this at all. People love a passion project, and I guess I’ve found mine for the year.
And well, it’s a lot. It’s a lot of projects to juggle, a lot of things I’m excited to do, and I’m never really sure which one to do first. So I do them all.
When the workday ends, I’m adding to resources, keeping up my social media calendar. I’m checking analytics, adjusting future postings. On weekends, I write and write and write. When that’s over, I write for graphics, and then make said graphics.
When the weekdays roll around again, it’s back to posting calendars. When I’m too tired to write, I read and research. I’ve even gone back to posting my card pulls on Instagram again!
It’s a lot, and I have to remind myself to take it slow sometime. I don’t want to burn out. I want to keep this going. I like this. Ergo, I would hate it if I started hating doing this at all.
Yet at the same time, I’m so afraid that if I let go for even a second, I won’t be able to get back up. The sky will fall down, and I don’t know if I’ll find the time or the patience to start over.
Yeah, the spirit is absolutely very willing this Aries season, but the body has a day job and needs seven hours of sleep. If I’m gonna keep doing this, I’m gonna need as much rest as I can get.
Final Thoughts
I’ve put in quite a bit time and money into this project. But putting aside sunken costs, I love that it keeps me busy enough. It keeps me writing a lot, reading even more – and away from doomscrolling for hours on end.
Though, that means it’s also had the added effect of giving me tunnel vision. At the beginning of the year, I set out on a different writing goals. A novel, an anthology, a 30-day writing challenge.
Perhaps I’ll get to them eventually this year, if I can spare the energy and extra braincell. But, remembering the Ten of Wands, perhaps not any time soon. At least not while I’m still figuring out how to fit all these hats on my head – these wands I’ve made and collected in the last month or so.
This is the challenge I’ve made for myself. But if it means writing about things that I love, that should be good enough to keep me going. I’ll do them all eventually. Cause that’s how most plans work out. One dream at a time. One foot after another. One sentence after the next.
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